In this video, leadership expert Dennis McIntee shares the #1 mistake that keeps people from reaching their goals. You’ll discover how to set the right kind of goals so you can become the type of person who can actually achieve what you’re setting out to do. And you’ll be able to do it without all the negativity that often comes with traditional goal-setting. 

Health care professionals are ambitious people. As such, you probably have some lofty goals you want to achieve. 

But what happens when you don’t hit the goals you set for yourself? 

It often starts a cycle of negative self-talk, inner criticism, and a harsh command to “do better next time.” 

The problem is that this approach rarely helps you grow and achieve great things. Instead, it keeps you stuck feeling incapable, inferior, and like a victim.

Goal setting isn’t just about listing off the things you want to accomplish. 

Sure, you might want to lose 20 pounds, get promoted, or go on an international trip. But who do you need to become before you can reach those goals?

Who Do You Need to Become? 

If you really want to achieve big things, here’s the question you need to start asking yourself when setting goals: 

Who do I need to become in order to achieve these goals? 

Because you can’t reach big goals until you grow into a bigger person. 

I’ve worked with health care professionals who wanted to see more patients, have more work-life balance, and increase staff retention. Those are great goals. But to actually achieve those dreams, they needed to become more focused, more resilient, more disciplined, and better communicators themselves. 

Doing vs. Becoming Goals

One of the greatest motivators is the sense of progress. I’m sure you know from experience that failing to hit a goal is rarely a healthy motivator. Instead, it leaves you feeling upset and disappointed with yourself. 

Often, I’m most hard on myself when I don’t achieve something I really wanted to do—or believed I could do. 

But that’s why setting “doing” goals is one of the most common mistakes people make when goal setting. 

Doing goals focus on transactional outcomes: 

• Lose 20 pounds
• Reduce patient wait times
• Read 50 books

Rarely do we look deeper at these goals and ask “Am I the kind of person who can actually stick with this right now?” 

Often, the answer is “No.” This leads us to fail, give up, or justify why the goal we set isn’t worth pursuing anymore. 

Or worst of all, we blame ourselves. We list all the reasons why we should have been better, tried harder, or wanted it more. 

But if you’re not the type of person who can actually achieve the goals you set, more motivation isn’t going to solve the problem. 

You have to make an internal change to see an external result. 

The Transformational Power of “Becoming” Goals

Imagine you want to lose 20 pounds. Instead of just jotting that down and then feeling bad every time you weigh yourself, start by asking: “Who do I need to become in order to lose 20 pounds?” 

This question gives you a clear roadmap forward. Your answers might include: 

• Not snacking late at night
• Exercising consistently
• Prioritizing sleep
• Choosing foods that fuels my body 

Not only are these clearer and more attainable, but they also strip away the guilt and disappointment often linked to failed goals. 

And once you become the type of person who can do those things, the odds of hitting your weight loss goal increase dramatically. 

Or maybe your goal is to improve patient satisfaction. Who do you need to become to create that kind of experience?

You might need to:

• Be more present with your patients 
• Develop stronger emotional intelligence
• Ask for feedback on your leadership (and act on it)

Most goals require you to grow. You may need to become a better listener, become more consistent, or show more grace to others. 

And that growth requires repeated practice until it becomes a habit.

If your goal is health or weight loss, focus on becoming someone who goes for a walk every morning.

If your goal is to have more friendships, focus on serving others and being a positive presence in the room. 

If your goal is to be a better leader, be intentional about having meaningful conversations with your staff members every week. 

Whatever becomes routine in your life eventually becomes an authority in your life. 

So choose habits that help you grow into the person that achieves the goals you want to reach. 

Goals Without Negative Self-Talk

Again, one of the greatest motivators is a sense of progress. But even with progress, your inner critic can extinguish most of your motivation if you allow it to. 

As you pursue your “being” goals, monitor how you talk to yourself and show yourself plenty of compassion. 

One way I like to monitor my progress without beating myself up is by asking these questions: 

• How did I practice my “being” goal today?
• What did I learn this week?
• Am I becoming more like the person I want to be?

Also, keep yourself from making blanket “always” or “never” claims about yourself, such as “I’ll never get promoted” or “I always slip up.” 

Phrases like “I’m learning…” and “I’m becoming…” keep you focused on the true goal, which is personal growth. 

Before You Set Another Goal

So before you set out to achieve another goal, start by asking yourself who you need to become in order to achieve that goal. 

Write it down and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day, like your bathroom mirror or as a daily reminder on your phone.

Ask a few friends to help hold you accountable, too. It’s much easier for someone to ask, “Did you go on a walk today?” than, “Hey, have you lost the weight yet?”

And when in doubt, keep coming back to the truth that the greatest power you have is the power to become someone different. 

You have the amazing opportunity to develop into the person you want to be—the person who is capable of achieving the goals that matter most to you.

You can do it! 

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