The role of your spouse in the physician job search.

Navigating a job search can be challenging. As a physician looking for your first post-training position, you want to lasso an opportunity that fits your professional expectations. You also want to live in a community you—and your spouse and family—love to call home.

So, who’s the best person to support you in landing the right job in the right place? 

If you’re part of a couple, the obvious answer is your spouse, since you both have an interest in a good decision. There are any number of ways that he or she can support you in deciding which opportunity will ring your professional bells, while satisfying you both. 

Here are four roles your significant other might play.

Role 1: Teammate

Whatever your partner’s eventual input, you both should approach your job search as a team. 

In fact, you likely won’t be successful long-term in the job—not to mention at home—unless you’re in this together. As Donna Shelby, director of physician recruitment at Citizens Memorial Hospital in Bolivar, Missouri, notes: “We recognize that everybody must be on board for this practice opportunity or it’s not going to work for anybody.”

Indeed, recruiters know when couples and families are involved, any decision about an opportunity takes more than just your “yes” or “no.” There must be a buy-in from your significant other as to the right offer and place. Recruiters want to understand what he or she is looking for and if it aligns well with what you’re looking for, too. A good place to start is by the two of you organizing a game plan. What are your priorities, not just for the position, but for everything outside of work? 

“The people who do the best job of finding the right fit are the ones who worry about all of those things and how they connect together,” says Kip Aitken, director of physician recruitment for CGH Medical Center.

Corewell Health candidates, for instance, often select the Grand Rapids, Michigan-based system to be within driving distance of their extended families. But while proximity may top their priorities, they’ve also done their due diligence to land a professionally satisfying job in a city that’s a personal fit. As Lisa Lopez, senior physician recruiter, notes about the resulting win-win: “You want everybody to feel happy because that lets us retain talent.”

When Courtney Rowe, MD, was searching for a position as a pediatric urologist, she and her husband, Matt Moscardi, used the same approach they’ve relied on since marrying before her medical school days. They sorted through every option with a keen eye on their wants and needs not just as a couple, but with three small children in tow.

They knew the job she’d be selecting would influence their family dynamic, so supporting each other as teammates was key. In the end, Rowe joined Hartford-based Connecticut Children’s Medical Center where she’s now director of the reconstructive urology program and codirector of Connecticut Children’s Continence Program.

As to the search, they stayed focused on their goals. They created a list of pros and cons for weighing what was best for their family. That included being part of a diverse community with great schools and amenities.

Once they narrowed her practice choices to two good hospitals, they even did a practice commute. One route clearly wasn’t reasonable. As Rowe notes: “We looked at each other and said, ‘If the two of us are doing three hours in a car every day, we’re just not going to be happy.’ That was a huge deciding factor.”

In terms of her husband’s support, what was his biggest contribution? Knowing himself and being honest about where he’d be happy. In fact, just as she did with residency and fellowship, Rowe wouldn’t consider a position in a city that didn’t work for him. Once he let it be known that “there’s not a lot there for me,” it was a no-go for her too.

That forthrightness was critical, she says, especially since they didn’t want to waste anyone’s time if they couldn’t go the hiring distance. 

Role 2: Fact finder

Obviously, job searches and site visits are all about fact-finding. The more information and perspective you and your spouse gather about an opportunity or place, the clearer and quicker your decision.

When it comes to divvying up or even sharing responsibilities, it’s a fairly standard structure: You’re going to focus on the professional side of things while your significant other explores everything else. That doesn’t mean there isn’t crossover. You both likely will be taking in community tours as well as having dinner with the partners and their spouses. 

Your significant other should have ample opportunity to survey the place you’d like to call home. Most hiring teams strive to create community tours and other itineraries that not only give you the basic lay of the land but are also tailored to your priorities. 

Indeed, your partner’s attention to detail in terms of what the area has to offer can round out the picture in a big way. Does it reflect your values and satisfy your interests or needs? 

When Jade Ireland, MD, set out to find her first emergency medicine position last year, she and her husband, Jason, weren’t just looking for a place that would use her new fellowship skills. Yes, the organization had to need her specialty training and welcome her family medicine experience. But the community also had to satisfy their family priorities. With three sons in tow, they wanted a city large enough for things to do, but not overwhelming. It also had to be in a hunter-friendly state for Jason.

As to collaborating, Jade admits to being the “more adventurous” of the two while Jason is “much more down to earth and practical.” “I might throw out a job in some random location,” she says, “and he can tell me eight ways to Sunday why that’s not going to work, which is very true.” 

Indeed, her husband’s support was rooted in his honesty, particularly about geography, their line in the sand. She wouldn’t look at any place where he didn’t see a fit. 

Role 3: Eyes and ears

Obviously, your spouse has a stake in your professional happiness and growth. But how can he or she be your best eyes and ears in determining if this is the job for you?

Site visits can be very helpful, especially if your partner gets a tour of the practice or facility. Having a sense as to where you’ll be and how your day will unfold is an important piece of the puzzle in supporting you. Stephanie Hooper, Hutchinson Regional Medical Center’s director of medical staff recruitment and onboarding, notes: “It’s really great for them to do those visits, so that they understand what the workplace structure is going to be.”

Your spouse likely will have any number of alternate activities to fill your interview time. In fact, dinner with your future colleagues and their spouses is standard fair for interfacing with the people who’ll shape your work experience and may even affect your family life. Will they have your back or not so much? Will you fit in? If your spouse sees behavior that isn’t you, their best support may be a warning: “Hey, I know your personality. I don’t know if you would gel with this team.”

Whatever the possible takeaways, having your spouse’s eyes and ears at the table can reap very revealing rewards. As Eric J. Sedwick, system director for Dayton, Ohio-based Premier Health, notes: “There are many things that can come out of that dinner to see if there’s a connection.”

Adam Booth, MD, and Judy Trieu, MD, wanted each other to have fulfilled work lives, even if it meant living apart. In fact, as spouses searching for positions in different specialties at different times, being separated was the biggest part of supporting each other. 

As Booth notes: “I didn’t want her to take a job she wouldn’t be happy at just to be with me. And she didn’t want me to take a job that I might not be happy at just to be with her.”

Fortunately, the two are now Washington University School of Medicine faculty members: Booth, associate professor, pathology and immunology and Trieu, assistant professor of medicine, interventional gastroenterology. 

Landing there together involved taking separate paths. In searching for his first job, for instance, he could focus on Chicago since she was still in training there. When it was her turn, Trieu had to cast her net wide to use her subspecialty skills. Booth had her back, however. “I told her to just focus on the job that was going to help her achieve her goals and the career path she wants to go on. I encouraged her to find the position that was going to be best for her.”

So, when Washington University School of Medicine (WashU) offered that best position, it was just a matter of figuring out the logistics of living apart. Fortunately, with St. Louis and Chicago a quick back-and-forth flight, he was confident they could make short visits work.

The separation wasn’t for long. When organizations came calling for his experience, WashU was definitely in the recruiting mix. In fact, her group encouraged the pathology team to hire him. “That’s what we loved about WashU,” she says. “They were very supportive of us both.”

Role 4: Sounding board

Of all the ways your spouse can support you during a job search, being a sounding board might be the most beneficial.

For whatever practice opportunity you’re leaning toward, you might need, or just appreciate, your partner ensuring your choice meets your expectations. It often takes a spouse to help a candidate get beyond workload specifics to see an opportunity in the most realistic light. How does everything look when you’re not focused on how many patients you’re going to see or hours you’re going to work? 

Your partner can help redirect your thinking. “What made you really happy in the last job?” “What made you feel really valued during training?” Whatever the answers, discovering a feel-right fit, especially if you’re still comparing options, can be summarized with: “Where will you enjoy going to work every single day? And is that here?” 

From there, it’s a matter of staying focused on those pros and cons that support—or counter—your vision of a satisfying workplace and family life. 

When Andrew Rose, MD, was searching for his first job as a pediatrician, it was a no-brainer that he and his wife, Janelle, would land in Wyoming. After all, they both grew up in the state and still had family there. Andrew also had a three-year practice commitment as repayment for his WWAMI medical education loan. 

Fifteen years later, he’s still a valued Cheyenne Children’s Clinic pediatrician and site director for pediatric medical student teaching. Janelle is an accomplished photographer, a second career to registered dietitian.

Her role as a sounding board—and much more—was critical in helping Andrew find the right position in a community where they’re happy raising their two teenage daughters. 

Indeed, Andrew not only trusted her good sense about people, but also her instincts for gauging the culture.  

It wasn’t just having a good sixth sense that helped Janelle support Andrew. They were already old hands at working as a team, having navigated big decisions together since college. In fact, being aligned with each other was their biggest asset. “What helped us the most,” Andrew says, “was being on the same page and discussing what we wanted ahead of time.” 

Final thoughts

Whatever your professional goal, how your partner supports you during your job search will undoubtedly reflect your situation. Self-reflection, honesty, and open communication are fundamental to working as a team, which is fundamental to making that final decision.

The key is for each of you to be upfront about what you want and where. As a physician chasing the job, you want to make sure it’s the best fit for you. Your partner’s role is to help by paying attention to particulars while offering that big-picture perspective. 

Finally, remember that the job search works best when you’re working as a team. As Moscardi, a spouse who knows the territory, notes: “It’s not really about how do you support your partner; it’s about how do you operate as a partnership.” •